Saturday, March 23, 2019

Misconceptions About a Cougar - Will This Change Your Mind?

1. A Cougar is an old Woman who trolls bars to look for Younger Men

Cougars are independent, bright, and beautiful women.  They are women who are aware of their appearance and take care of themselves both physically and financially.  Misconceptions about cougars are rampant, with some perceptions even seeing them "waiting, watching, calculating... gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and handsome cub who happens to cross her path".  While some of them may enjoy bars, there is no need for them to chase after the younger men.  The younger men usually come to them.  Cougars are not looking for prey despite the nicknames which are so commonly used.  They are looking for an equal and as they have been unable to find it in men their own age, they look for younger men - or in some cases, just seem to attract younger men. Most cougars are incredibly "driven" women and as such, need someone with a lot of energy to keep up with them.

2.  A Younger Man will want Women is own age who have less wrinkles and/or love handles

There are many cougars who keep themselves very fit and toned, but even the idea that it's wrinkles/weight alone that will determine someone's interest in dating is insulting.  Not all younger men like models and just as there are many types of younger girls for men to be interested in, there are just as many types of cougars as well.  While sexual attraction is definitely part of the cougar and cub relationship, there are many other factors that can go into the relationship.  To say that this type of relationship is only based on surface attraction, and that it's the only thing that's keeping either of them together, is insulting to both parties.

3.  Cubs and Cougars have nothing in common

Despite the difference in ages, people are able to find common interests over any period of time.  Someone doesn't have to be around when the Beatles were popular to think that they're a great band.  Some cougars might love much of the other music that is popular right now.  To say that interests are specifically limited by age is more than a little naive.  Nowadays when the Internet makes almost all popular culture widely available, there is nothing to suggest that someone will be limited by the era that they grew up in.  There are some reports that say 20% of divorces are due to age discrepant relationships, that swings both ways, stating that one in five couples who divorce have at least a seven year age difference.  While this myth holds little water, most of the famous age gap divorces result in a lack of commonality between the two.  Will cougars have a different worldview due to the experiences that they've have compared to their cubs?  Probably!  But half the fun of being in a cougar and cub relationship is learning to bridge those gaps while experiencing new things together.

4.  An Older Woman will miss out on all the fun things that she could be doing with her life while a younger man struggles to establish himself and his career

This one is downright ridiculous because it isn't something this is exclusive to age gap relationships.  In fact there are many relationships between people of the same age where one partner could be restricted by the other partner while they "figure it out".  Dating an older man does not guarantee that they will be successful and established.  This also implies that the cougar is passive within the relationship - which is a toxic view in an relationship, but is certainly not true for cougars.  Older women are free to do their own thing while the younger man establishes himself and indeed, most of them do so.  They're also there to guide them and give them the advice of someone who has been there, done that already.  A cougar is an independent woman who has been fending for herself, there is no no need for her to wait while her cub is working his way up the corporate ladder.  She has a life and a career and will not be restricted in the least by her relationship, unless of course she wants to be.

5.  Cubs will eventually cheat on cougars with someone their own age

This is just wrong on so many level.  Infidelity is a personal choice that a person makes and the age of who they're dating has little to do with it.  If a cub cheats on a cougar it has nothing to do with her age and is because he is someone who is inclined to cheat.  The fact that he would cheat just to be with someone his own age again supposes that the relationship is not based on emotion, intellectual attraction, and connection, but on the shallow pretext of a sexual relationship which is just based on looks.  While this can be said to be true for some cougar/cub relationships, those are usually some form of "no strings attached" relationships and if you stray while in one of those -  it's not generally thought of as cheating.  That's the whole point of those relationships.  If a cub cheats, it wouldn't be because of the age, but because of something else that is wrong with the relationship and if that something else is wrong, it wouldn't matter whether you and your cub were both the same age or not.

There are a number of myths and misconceptions that get thrown around when discussing age discrepant relationships, but the reality is that the bond between cougars and cubs is quite often the same kind of bond that you may experience in similar aged relationships.  The actual issues or struggles in the relationship may be different, but it doesn't mean they love each other any less.  It doesn't give anyone a right to stereotype, and it's harmful to make assumptions.

To Meet and Date a Cougar or a ToyBoy - visit our website:

Monday, March 4, 2019

A Cougar Should Know How To Compliment Her ToyBoy

Women all love receiving compliments as long as they're genuine, they can make us feel great and brighten our day.  Men like compliments too, so here are a few ideas on how best to compliment the younger man you have met, and hope to make him your ToyBoy.

Compliments are all about the other person
Focus on them indirectly.  For example, say "You look fabulous in that shirt!" rather than "I like how that shirt looks on you".  If you want to really make him feel good, try say, "You make that shirt look good".

Be genuine about the compliments you pay
Compliment him the way you would want him to compliment you.  You would probably hate to know it was faked.  Find something that you really like about him, don't just say anything.  If you can't find anything to compliment him on, then it's better to simply say nothing.  If you're honest with yourself you should probably be questioning if you really want to pursue this ToyBoy at all!

Make eye contact and smile when pay a compliment  
Show that you are confident in yourself by making eye contact and smiling.  Just seeing you smile will be a compliment in itself.  As long as it's not a fake smile, it will make him feel good about himself.

Highlight something in his outfit that catches your eye
Mention something that you find interesting or original about his outfit.  It could be a watch, sunglasses or maybe an unusual pair of shoes.  Also, instead of general remarks like "that's a nice shirt", say "you look great in that shirt".  It's more personal without being too familiar.

Keep your admiration of his body parts to yourself
It is really inappropriate to compliment someone you've just met on their body parts.  For one thing you don't want to degrade yourself, neither do you want him to get the idea you just have sex on your mind...  Rather say: "You have a really great positive attitude" or "I like your interesting outlook on life".  Better still is "Your outgoing personality brings out the smiles in everyone around you".

Don't ramble on - it get boring
Keep your compliments short and to the point.  Speak in a friendly, engaging manner.  If you sound boring and emotionless when complimenting him, he will simply loose interest and walk away.

To Meet and Date a Cougar or a ToyBoy visit our website: